||[Apr. 1st, 2005|01:36 am]
i had no idea how much stress can affect a person. this past week i dont think that i have ever been under more pressure to manage my time effectively, do exceptionally well on my exams/projects, and just purely get them done.|
stress is a mean thing.
and its kinda coincidental that im studying stress in my psych class. in fact stress was one of the subjects on my exam today.
side affects of stress:
compulsive eating.. check.
bad health.. check.
sleep problems.. check.
body problems.. check (my back has zillions of nots)
all i want to do is sit in a chair and read. or watch draining mindless tv. no more building please.
i just came home from taking jon to get his car and when i walked up to my floor, i saw that someone had kicked my box of white powdered plaster (it feels and looks like flour) ALL over the floor. not only is there a huge mess that i know i will get fined for but i have to buy a whole other box of plaster.
normally i would have been just fucking pissed off that someone had to disturb my peace, but since im under such stress, i came home and uncontrollably cried.
i cant explain to anyone how good i want to be at what i do in the future and i feel that i need prove myself now in order to get there. so only the best, most complicated project will satisfy me.
i wish i had this innate ability to come up with a project idea right away and build it with ease.
oh god. what to do but just work work work until its over.
i need to remember it will be over.
on the flip side, my daddys 60th bday is this weekend. we are having a bbq on saturday night and then a hike/brunch on sunday morning. im really excited to just have some sort of down time with my family.
i need to go to bed so i stop thinking about how hard things are. i hate to sob and complain.
casey's watching celebrity sex tapes on vh1. ill join.